Pain

I cant wait for the freezing weather at Plattsburgh. The cold biting through your skin and making your hands numb. How the pain tingles in places you can't feel because you have lost sensation there. How you shiver till your bone aches.

I want it back. I want the savaging cold. I wont all other pain to shy away.

It's surprising how you learn to love something that pains you. It's weird how i love something that pains me every night. It's weird how i love my pain. Its weird how my pain is now fading away. It is someone else's now. My pain is not mine anymore.

I can't claim it or pleasure it. Its gone. Floated away out of my grips. Clinging on is a different kind of an ache. I am falling in love again. with pain.