Avoid it. Every time a thought you don't like knocks at you, think about your favorite icecream. Everytime your mind formulates a nightmare, change it to a dream. Every time it tries to chase your peace away, take a backflip and arrive at the starting point again. It's tiring. But helps to keep your sanity. It will help to keep yourself from losing. You have to win the race against your own thoughts.
But are those thoughts really yours? You don't think about you being weak. No one wants to do that. There is no pleasure in seeing yourself, crippled, bleeding and drained. Yet, you see it. Yet you clearly can picture your sanity draining out of your body. Who is making you think of all these things? What is making your mind stop where you don't want it to stop? Do you have an answer? I don't.
Escape. Escape from those thoughts. Take a different route. If your vehicle is not listening to you, change it. Don't let your mind win. Force it, to listen to you. Make it your slave. Make it think the things you want to think about. Do not surrender. Do not give up. If you give up, it will make you travel to a chaotic land. In that land there is no you or me. There is just self-torture and destruction.
Gravitate yourself. Hold on. Kick and curse at the thoughts that are yours, but does not make you like yourself. Grab those fragments up and bury it so deep that you can't find it anymore.
It's a game you have to win. It's game i have to win. It is my life. It is MY mind. i cannot surrender to something i can control. I can't surrender to something that is made for me to rule. I am the queen of my kingdom. I am the God and the messiah of my body. I am the light and the darkness. I am the one who rules my body and mind.
Reality is a bitch. If it pokes your brain to think on itself, poke it again and make it listen to you.
Change the reality and give it your own version. See what you like. Sense what you love.
Mind-game. You have made me a player.
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