Kolkata

i am sitting beside my window and the sun is blaring its heat on one side of my body while my other side continues to be cold. Weird. Anyways, i am in my room, ready to take a bath and head out to meet my boyfriend, but my body wants to be lazy and i don't want to get up.

I have a slight fever and all that oil and spices are finally taking a toll on my tummy. I have already rushed to the bathroom three times and its not making me feel very good. And you are wondering if i am writing about my health issues then why i have named the post Kolkata? Because it's hometown and everything is happening here.

After four months i arrived home, very excited because i missed it like hell. I missed the sun and the sound of the prayers from the mosques which surrounds my locality. I was excited to eat all the food and meet all my friends and get drunk every evening, if possible. But now i am tired of it. I want Plattsburgh back. Why? I don't know. Is this feeling wierd? Yes. When i first reached the States 5 months back i was miserable, missing home every second. I was jealous of my american friends who could visit home every weekend if they wanted to and i cried almost every night for the first one month. What has changed now? I love America. That's what has happened. I love the people, the place, the culture, the freedom and the snow.

Kolkata is very much the same as i had left it. Though friends are no longer available at all times and i have not sensed much enthusiasm in people that i am back. I guess i am not a person who is missed much. I am not complaining. My home is suffocating me again. I don't talk to my mother as usual because of the fights we have. My boyfriend and I spend most of the time together but past issues screw up things sometimes. My best friends are also pretty busy and back to their usual life after the short holidays. Other friends, except a few, haven't even bothered to contact me. Last year this time, i used to be so busy, jumping from one band competition to the other and now there are none. Hence, Kolkata has changed, for me.

My life in Plattsburgh has changed Kolkata. Everyone seems distant. The people i used to hang out with every single day before i left are now least bothered. My relationship with my mother was better when i was away. My nephew visits me just once a week, and my sister, is well, being my sister. All that "miss u" and "can't wait to see you" seems like bull crap now. Why do people fake if they don't mean it? Because they are being people. Liars i tell you.

I was more closer to home when i was far away. Seriously. I was miserable sometimes but not ALL the time. Here, i am miserable most of the times, unless Deepak is entertaining me. I mean he is the only person who has shown genuine interest upon my arrival. Thank You.

People mostly ask me if i love it in the States. If you had asked me this question four months back, i would had thought about it and had given a detailed answer. But ask me now. Do i love it in the States? Hell Yes!