Wanna go out with me?

It's finally a snow day! yipee! haha! just one class got cancelled, a three hour long class. So i am not complaining.

A friend of mine here is "depressed" because a girl did not want to go out with him. Well, he is 23 years old and should be familiar with the dynamics of life, but i guess he is not. He thinks he is cool enough, handsome enough for any girl. Well, that is why i don't appreciate vain people. You might be perfect in your own eyes, but you are not in someone else's. SO suck it up and move on. If we all think ourselves to be perfect then the cycle of life will cease to move. Then everyone becomes a perfect potential mate, and every child a perfect potential offspring, the whole point of evolution fades to stand it's ground.

Well, coming out of the sciences, i would like to add that when it comes to choosing the "guy" i like i am NOT picky. AT ALL, and hence, the consequences of my life.Name it, and i have been in a relation with "it". I have dated a schoolboy, a hippie, a junkie, a very "established" green card holder, a druggie, a musician AND a musician. So see? i do not pick and judge the guy i like and want to date. I date someone who shows genuine interest in me. More than the person fitting into any criteria, i just see if the person likes me for who i am, even if i am 128 lbs or 220.

When it comes to breaking up, i have broken up with 4 of my boyfriends, and have been dumped by 2. OK. The latter wasn't a very good experience. It makes me think what i lack or what insecurities i have in life, and just because i have been dumped in the very first two relationships of my life i tend to believe the fact that there is something majorly wrong with me.

SO when i see my past boyfriends dating a new girl, i hyperventilate to see if they are really better than me. In most cases i BELIEVE they are. I have insignificant love for myself. I curse myself almost every moment. Therefore, i tend to stay away from my past boyfriends. Two of them are still good friends, one of them....well i don't want to comment on what he is to me(and if we are more than friends or not, or if we are friends at all). This has a reverse effect too. I am also very insecure with my guy i date. I believe, again, that the girl he dated before me is better than me. If he comes to know ALL of ME he will eventually decide what a mistake i am.

So my relationships become a complex web, where i am suffering from insecurities on both ends. Every past or future girlfriend of my present and past boyfriends pose a threat to my self-belief. But i don't complain about this. It makes me a very well-grounded person. It helps me realize the fact that i am no Miss Universe who can "get whoever she wants". I am a simple girl, with simple needs in the relationship forefront. I try to be a good ex-girlfriend and even better "present" girlfriend.

Oh the complexities of my mind. Rest now. Let me enjoy my snow day. ;)