Thirst

Surprises are sometimes pleasant and sometimes not so much. In my case it's mostly the latter. I have done so many things in life, that it scares me if i have chosen the right path. I have been trained as a singer, as an instrumentalist, as a painter,a good student and a leader. I just don't know how to accumulate all of my knowledge into one cumulative career. I surely don't want to be "the jack of all, master of none".

Knowledge is very important to me, books being my best friends. But i am like a sponge. I soak in everything around me. I try to learn everything that i have never been aware of before. The same happen to me with knowing how to play the drums. Although being a pretty decent keyboardist myself, it was always the harmonium which fascinated me. I tried my hands at tabla, but the blisters scared me. With the drums, i found my instrument. I love playing "with" it. I love how one by one, my four limbs started to co-ordinate. I have not pursued this passion of mine, because it brings back a lot of hurtful memories. I was almost tempted to buy my own kit, but i guess i did. I helped built a kit for him, and somehow i believed that it was as mine as it was his. Well,it's not the truth. With a broken heart, comes a bitter reality. I might never see that kit again, but i know my presence is with it, forever. Until he chooses to replace me from there too.

SO why i am not a musician, trying to make it big in the Indian music circuit? Because of science. I am in love with science. I am in love with how much one can gather facts with the help of technology and a creative mind. People who think scientists are not creative, know absolutely nothing. Being a scientist brings out the thinker in one. Trying to unfold the mysterious takes a lot of imagination and zeal. It's almost like a musician trying to compose a never-before-created piece of music. It's like a painter, trying to create a never before seen portrait. It's like a leader trying to introduce a new idea into a society.

I want to become a scientist for the first half of my life because of the knowledge. I want to learn and discover. What i want to be in the second half of my life, is still shaky, will work on it once i have my PhD. ;)

Patience is my religion,
Knowledge is my God.
I pray for blessings,
and my path to enlightenment.