What started as my biggest revelation has ended up being my biggest nightmare. I do not have the strength anymore. I do not have the will or the enthusiasm to come to terms with myself.
My confessions are deadly. They change. They come back. They hold no meaning once they are out in space.
Seriously, what am i running away from? Me or reality? Am i this weak? Have i always been this week, dependent on people, but pretending to be fiercely independent?
What am i? Who am i?
WIth every passing moment, i am running, but from whom? Why am i running? What do i fear to lose? All these question unanswered. He tells me that I am the one with the answers within myself. I dig deep. All i find in hollowness, confusion, and a lot of self contradiction.
I have become an excuse for my actions. "I have always been that way", this is what i say after my every action. But is this true? Do i say what i mean? Am i even true to myself? Am i even what i have always thought myself to be.
I feel like thousands of me live in one body, changing with every second, every moment?
Will i find my answers if i live in solitude? Will i find my answers if i cut my cords with the people i have given myself to?
Am i capable of living alone?
May be i am just a parasite, sucking out emotions from people who love me. May be i am just an ordinary person with an extraordinary appetite for weakness.
Do i make you weak to suck away your happiness?
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